Fever!

You know how serious people keep telling you that during chemo there should be no fever. 38 degrees warrant you to be at the A&E immediately.

That is how life threatening it is to someone going through chemo. The immune system is down and thus more susceptible to diseases and infections. During chemo, the drugs kill all the fast growing cells, includes red blood cells, white blood cells and platelets.

Please google the definitions. Lazy to find out hahaha.

To me, I only know my immune is down, so I have to avoid raw food, avoid crowded places, eat well cooked food and peeled fruits. The period where it is most serious is 7 to 14 days after chemotherapy.

Well, for the first chemo, all things went well. This time, I was actually running a fever. It started from 37.7 degrees, then to 38 degrees. Highest was 38.3 degrees.

Although at this point of time there is no more fever, I am required to stay for another 3 more days or so! (I'm supposed to be discharged today, hear me? TODAY!)

Doc says have to monitor me because my fever is not subsiding (I thought I am? I no fever leh) Anyway, no bargains said the doc hahaha! Awaiting to go for a CT scan for the whole body. I suppose they want to see whether there is infection in my lungs or at my operation site. Just to be safe.

Sigh. 3 more days of staying means 3 more days of hospital food. I hate the food here. Seriously SMELLY to the max.

Felt so emo suddenly and I suddenly keep crying lolx.

Was thinking how come I am lying here smelling all the drugs? I don't like the smell of the alcohol. I don't like the smell of the food. I don't like to be here and feel sick.

I like to be at home. I can walk around, talk to people and beg my parents to bring me out.

I feel... kinda lonely here.

I cried because I hate my life now. I should be having my second kid. Being a happy pregnant woman. Maybe planning to go overseas with hubby and Vera. Every weekend, we should be out shopping in some shopping centres or bring Vera to some parks to enjoy herself.

It is definitely not happening now.

I miss my life. (not too much of a life though)

You know what? The only motivating thing that keeps me going is the daily cash incentive I am getting from my insurance for staying here. BOOO!

*No need to console me. Death is not an option to me now.*