Just one more chemo to go and I'm going back to work soon!
Next week I'm going to stay for 4-5 days and one month later go back for scans and I'm officially in remission!
Suddenly, felt so lost like for these 4 months I have achieved nothing and "holidays" are ending soon. No achievements at all!
But definitely this period of time, I have experienced tremendous amount of love from family n friends and even long lost friends or just strangers whom I just meet during my stays in hospital.
I have also learnt how system in hospital works and how to do all your various claims. (Feel free to ask me)
I also see things in different light. I don't like to waste time listening to cold calls or talk to lor soh people. I take things easy as life is too short. U like that bag, buy it!
Whenever I feel very pek cek I will remind myself this quote "there are many crises in the world, spinach on the wall is not one of them!". This applies to mothers but I think it applies to life too.
I'm definitely cherishing my life more. Stop complaining. Be happy.
Sunday, February 26, 2012
Friday, February 24, 2012
Infection stay
Have been in the hospital since Sunday. Came in due to infection and fever. But surprisingly when I am in here no bacteria was found in my blood and the fever has subsided. Nonetheless, still had to stay in hospital for observation purpose.
Have decided to stay in here for my last cycle of chemo which is today. Next Monday I have to admit again for my FINALE!
This stay there are three terminal illness patients same ward as me. Two have been lying in bed since. One of them has a nice husband. He told me he cried whenever he sees his wife in pain.
She has breast cancer and spread to brain already.
Makes me wonder why my hubby never cry huh?
I read somewhere that breasts cancer is top for women. And reason being the wired bras that women are wearing nowadays. Especially career women who has to wear it at work for longer hours. Wired bras prevent blood circulation hence may cause cancer.
I like the nurses in ward 48. All already know me and can sometimes tell me stories about other patients.
Have decided to stay in here for my last cycle of chemo which is today. Next Monday I have to admit again for my FINALE!
This stay there are three terminal illness patients same ward as me. Two have been lying in bed since. One of them has a nice husband. He told me he cried whenever he sees his wife in pain.
She has breast cancer and spread to brain already.
Makes me wonder why my hubby never cry huh?
I read somewhere that breasts cancer is top for women. And reason being the wired bras that women are wearing nowadays. Especially career women who has to wear it at work for longer hours. Wired bras prevent blood circulation hence may cause cancer.
I like the nurses in ward 48. All already know me and can sometimes tell me stories about other patients.
Tuesday, February 21, 2012
Bye bye toe nail!
Today my big toe nail is found officially under the blanket when I wake up in the morning.
Good bye toe nail!
Everything on me seems to be leaving me. My hair and my big toe nail.
Yesterday I was still scaring the nurses with my "peekaboo" toe nail. The nurses screamed like it was so painful. Quite funny!
Today it was found under the blanket. And yes I have been waking up to find if my toe nail is still around!
Good bye toe nail!
Everything on me seems to be leaving me. My hair and my big toe nail.
Yesterday I was still scaring the nurses with my "peekaboo" toe nail. The nurses screamed like it was so painful. Quite funny!
Today it was found under the blanket. And yes I have been waking up to find if my toe nail is still around!
Thursday, February 16, 2012
Shopping day! - New hairstyle!
Went shopping since 1pm with Lynn and bought quite a few things.
First we went Uniqlo and I bought a new pants. Then went to MDS Collections to buy this green top! Damn chio! Only $26 before 10% membership discount. So only around $23! So nice lor! I love it and I immediately changed to the new top and bottom. Lolx. Total revamp of my outfit of the day.
Then bought a new wig for $69 only! At Sinma, Lucky Plaza, those shops that sell alot of combs.
And also bought a new bag! Kate Spade having last day sale. Bought a bag at 50%. Only $420 after discount and am going to bring to work next time. When have ipad, can put my ipad in and bring to and fro.
Alot of people say my new hair looks like my old one. Well, I have combined the photo so that there is a comparison!
So got difference or not???
First we went Uniqlo and I bought a new pants. Then went to MDS Collections to buy this green top! Damn chio! Only $26 before 10% membership discount. So only around $23! So nice lor! I love it and I immediately changed to the new top and bottom. Lolx. Total revamp of my outfit of the day.
Then bought a new wig for $69 only! At Sinma, Lucky Plaza, those shops that sell alot of combs.
And also bought a new bag! Kate Spade having last day sale. Bought a bag at 50%. Only $420 after discount and am going to bring to work next time. When have ipad, can put my ipad in and bring to and fro.
Alot of people say my new hair looks like my old one. Well, I have combined the photo so that there is a comparison!
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| New hair |
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| Old hair |
I LOVE SHOPPING!
Wednesday, February 15, 2012
Vday 2012
So happy I can celebrate Vday with the hubby this year :)
This is our 4th Vday together and I still remember how we celebrated ours last year. We wanted to have Marche for dinner but there was a long queue so we proceeded to the Seah Imm Food Market and have our favourite MeeSoto. There was no expensive dinner, no flowers, no wine. Just two of us happily gobbling down our favourite food. To other people it is cheapskate. To me, that was romantic :)
So this year, we decided to have an early dinner on 13 Feb to beat the crowd. Waited for hubby to fetch me from RWS, we ordered our favourite milk shake for him to drink.
We do not like crowded places. So we went to the Hard Rock Cafe at RWS. Food portion was too big for two of us.
Then on the actual day, I received flowers sent straight to my mum's place. AWW... So sweet of him. (But I always think flowers are a waste of money lei. Dont know why girls like it. It withers in days. I rather he buy me a pot of flowers that can last for months hahaha!)
Subsequently, I met two friends for lunch and dinner separately, instead of my hubby lolx!
Most importantly, I did a little charity today! Donated some money to WorldVision to kids in Africa. Really cannot stand starving kids. They really break my heart.
This is our 4th Vday together and I still remember how we celebrated ours last year. We wanted to have Marche for dinner but there was a long queue so we proceeded to the Seah Imm Food Market and have our favourite MeeSoto. There was no expensive dinner, no flowers, no wine. Just two of us happily gobbling down our favourite food. To other people it is cheapskate. To me, that was romantic :)
So this year, we decided to have an early dinner on 13 Feb to beat the crowd. Waited for hubby to fetch me from RWS, we ordered our favourite milk shake for him to drink.
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| This is yummy-licious! |
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| Our Vday dinner |
Subsequently, I met two friends for lunch and dinner separately, instead of my hubby lolx!
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| You are my sunshine. |
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| My Vday lunch with WF. |
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| My Vday dinner date |
Most importantly, I did a little charity today! Donated some money to WorldVision to kids in Africa. Really cannot stand starving kids. They really break my heart.
Monday, February 13, 2012
Life is short. Cherish.
It is recently that I am beginning to hear news of how people succumb to cancer and die. All these stories may be very pessimistic. But somehow, on the contrary, it makes me cherish my life and people around me even more. By hearing how someone can die suddenly or leave you one day without advance notice, I feel how important it is to treasure every waking moment and those people I meet.
So on the day I was admitted on 6 Feb 2012, I saw one of the patient during my last stay - Gladys. She was also due for admission because her body was rejecting the chemo medicine. She had to go in and do stem cells transplant I think. I remember she wanted to give it up and I think all these obstacles make her want to give up even more.
So I saw her and she was telling me the auntie, Grace (advanced liver cancer and do not want chemotherapy), who was my neighbour during the last stay passed away. I felt so sudden. Because she was so healthy on the day of my discharge. She was planning to go home for a short reunion with her family during the CNY. A very optimistic lady who easily chats people up. She was waiting for a space in hospice and I think shortly she gotten a space in the hospice after the CNY, she passed away. When I told hubby about her, tears welled up in my eyes.
Then when I was admitted, a nurse was telling me that she had a patient that passed away on that day. The patient, male age 30 (borned in 1980) had lymphoma and went in and out of hospital for the past one year or so. Has a girlfriend who stood by him. He had built up quite a number of friendships with the nurses there because of the one year he has been in and out of the hospital. Sometimes they even go smoke together. Actually, doctor already said he has recovered the lymphoma, then it came back as some leukemia (forgot the exact name). He was admitted in ICU and apparently his brain nerves are affected and he lost his cognitive motor skills. Subsequently, he was succumbed to the disease and passed away. The nurse intend to go with the other nurses to his wake.
There was another story that she told me because she knew I was pregnant when I found out about my cancer. She said she knew a lady with a 3 year old kid and was pregnant with a second one when she found out she had cancer (forgot what cancer). She insist on keeping the baby and went on for a low dose chemotherapy. She delivered the baby prematurely because she was having some difficulties mid way during the chemo. Subsequently she passed away also.
And this is the saddest part: During the wake, her daughter said "Shhhh.. Mummy is sleeping."
Now, her kids are taken care by their father and grandmother.
It may be very pessimistic especially when you are receiving treatment to hear about failure stories. I just hope it serves as a reminder to all of us that death is not an unavoidable event.
So on the day I was admitted on 6 Feb 2012, I saw one of the patient during my last stay - Gladys. She was also due for admission because her body was rejecting the chemo medicine. She had to go in and do stem cells transplant I think. I remember she wanted to give it up and I think all these obstacles make her want to give up even more.
So I saw her and she was telling me the auntie, Grace (advanced liver cancer and do not want chemotherapy), who was my neighbour during the last stay passed away. I felt so sudden. Because she was so healthy on the day of my discharge. She was planning to go home for a short reunion with her family during the CNY. A very optimistic lady who easily chats people up. She was waiting for a space in hospice and I think shortly she gotten a space in the hospice after the CNY, she passed away. When I told hubby about her, tears welled up in my eyes.
Then when I was admitted, a nurse was telling me that she had a patient that passed away on that day. The patient, male age 30 (borned in 1980) had lymphoma and went in and out of hospital for the past one year or so. Has a girlfriend who stood by him. He had built up quite a number of friendships with the nurses there because of the one year he has been in and out of the hospital. Sometimes they even go smoke together. Actually, doctor already said he has recovered the lymphoma, then it came back as some leukemia (forgot the exact name). He was admitted in ICU and apparently his brain nerves are affected and he lost his cognitive motor skills. Subsequently, he was succumbed to the disease and passed away. The nurse intend to go with the other nurses to his wake.
There was another story that she told me because she knew I was pregnant when I found out about my cancer. She said she knew a lady with a 3 year old kid and was pregnant with a second one when she found out she had cancer (forgot what cancer). She insist on keeping the baby and went on for a low dose chemotherapy. She delivered the baby prematurely because she was having some difficulties mid way during the chemo. Subsequently she passed away also.
And this is the saddest part: During the wake, her daughter said "Shhhh.. Mummy is sleeping."
Now, her kids are taken care by their father and grandmother.
It may be very pessimistic especially when you are receiving treatment to hear about failure stories. I just hope it serves as a reminder to all of us that death is not an unavoidable event.
Saturday, February 11, 2012
Happy :)
After being through so much, I am beginning to feel that things are going my way! Feel so happy that I need to share all these good things in my life.
As what my hubby always say "When you are down, the only way is UP!"
- My own house: Finally got a decent queue no. from HDB (102 out of 196 units). 11 applications mind you! I think I deserve queue number 1 lor! Though not at my ideal place, still stuck at Tampines for the next 10 years or so. But at least it is at an affordable rate to us given the exorbitant price of houses in Singapore nowadays. This BTO will be built on a very vibrant part of Tampines. Near a mini town centre where there are alot of kopitiams and there is a big supermarket. An MRT station (Tampines West Station) will be coming up in 2017 which is part of the downtown line. The best part is, it will be completed by third quarter 2014! Just 2 years later! YAY!
- Ideal Childcare: When I thought that my little darling, who is a year-end baby will end up with no school to go (Every school in Tampines is full), and considering that she will be 4 years old next year, my ideal childcare, ELFA called me and said Vera has a space in there! I love that place. After seeing various childcare centres in Tampines I think ELFA is the cleanest and most vibrant. It is not the most expensive in the area (actually very expensive to us - $500 per month after subsidy) and just one road across our place. They have 10 kids with 2 teacher which I think it is the best ratio available. (But yea, I am a very paranoid mother. Kept asking whether I can be around with her or not. Oh well, she is my darling, my life.) *Wonder why Singapore government ask us to have more babies when the resources are limited and so expensive!*
- Bye bye mass: The mass in my spinal cord is no longer apparent. Means that my body is responding to chemo. And I think I have tolerated the chemo relatively well. Not much vomit or loss of appetite. Although I can already feel each chemo is making my body weaker and weaker. But as the doctor mentioned, I am reaching the end of a marathon so being tired is natural. And my doctor is very optimistic of my recovery. I am already planning what to do when I recover (a couple's retreat, a family overseas trip and maybe a mini party celebration). Well, one more chemo to go, I am not gonna let this stupid cancer cells beat me!
As what my hubby always say "When you are down, the only way is UP!"
So, UP UP WE GO!
P/S: I have been loving my bald head so much that I am no longer embarrassed showing my friends or people I meet my bald head. Well, how much longer can I be bald right? After skinning through death, I think being bald is NOTHING. So for people (especially skinny people) if you think you are fat, you are probably not. And confidence and a radiant smile is what makes you shine. By thinking you are fat, you lose that confidence, you lose that self esteem. Blah.
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