Life is short. Cherish.

It is recently that I am beginning to hear news of how people succumb to cancer and die. All these stories may be very pessimistic. But somehow, on the contrary, it makes me cherish my life and people around me even more. By hearing how someone can die suddenly or leave you one day without advance notice, I feel how important it is to treasure every waking moment and those people I meet.

So on the day I was admitted on 6 Feb 2012, I saw one of the patient during my last stay - Gladys. She was also due for admission because her body was rejecting the chemo medicine. She had to go in and do stem cells transplant I think. I remember she wanted to give it up and I think all these obstacles make her want to give up even more.

So I saw her and she was telling me the auntie, Grace (advanced liver cancer and do not want chemotherapy), who was my neighbour during the last stay passed away. I felt so sudden. Because she was so healthy on the day of my discharge. She was planning to go home for a short reunion with her family during the CNY. A very optimistic lady who easily chats people up. She was waiting for a space in hospice and I think shortly she gotten a space in the hospice after the CNY, she passed away. When I told hubby about her, tears welled up in my eyes.

Then when I was admitted, a nurse was telling me that she had a patient that passed away on that day. The patient, male age 30 (borned in 1980) had lymphoma and went in and out of hospital for the past one year or so. Has a girlfriend who stood by him. He had built up quite a number of friendships with the nurses there because of the one year he has been in and out of the hospital. Sometimes they even go smoke together. Actually, doctor already said he has recovered the lymphoma, then it came back as some leukemia (forgot the exact name). He was admitted in ICU and apparently his brain nerves are affected and he lost his cognitive motor skills. Subsequently, he was succumbed to the disease and passed away. The nurse intend to go with the other nurses to his wake.

There was another story that she told me because she knew I was pregnant when I found out about my cancer. She said she knew a lady with a 3 year old kid and was pregnant with a second one when she found out she had cancer (forgot what cancer). She insist on keeping the baby and went on for a low dose chemotherapy. She delivered the baby prematurely because she was having some difficulties mid way during the chemo. Subsequently she passed away also.

And this is the saddest part: During the wake, her daughter said "Shhhh.. Mummy is sleeping."

Now, her kids are taken care by their father and grandmother.

It may be very pessimistic especially when you are receiving treatment to hear about failure stories. I just hope it serves as a reminder to all of us that death is not an unavoidable event.