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If there is any reader out there, I have moved to weebly.com....

So now my new address is

http://www.mylifeafter26.weebly.com/

See you there!

My New Look

Decides to venture into a whole new look.

New hairstyle (actually is new wig)

New spectacles (for photo-taking purpose)

And a .....

New dress (from a friend Pauline who gave me a bright yellow dress to congratulate for my recovery)

*roll red carpet*

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*Drums rolls*

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TADAH!

Happy Four Months

I am officially in my 4th month of remission.

And yes I am still working, living like a normal person (except for that wig). I still shop like I have tons of fortune. I still dress up and put on make up. I still eat what I like, less the seafood and sashimi.

I have made some lifestyle changes in the hope of being able to be in this world a little longer to see my girl grows up into a beautiful girl and gets married to a fabulous guy, giving birth to a dozen of babies.

I also occasionally ponder on how can I maximise my time in this world to give good to the society? Maybe volunteering?

Random post: I love you

I wana walk with you forever.

Family photo

Updates

A few updates for my blog:

• Removed chatbox - Too many spam messages. So for any comments (for whoever that is still reading this blog) kindly post it within the posts.
• Pictures gone - The pictures were synced to my mobile and I accidentally deleted them thinking why were there so many photos in my gallery. Any kind souls who can fix this please let me know. I will be indebted to you for rest of my life. (Just kidding)

If you were not gone...

Looking at how happy people invite their second or third kid into their family, instantly i felt guilty,sad or rather mixed feelings.

If you were not gone,you would be a little older than one month old already. You would be loved by us and Vera will be promoted to be an elder sister.She will be less lonely and shoulders more responsibility. You will bring us sleepless nights and bring love into the house. 

But..... that can only occur if and only if nothing has happened.

For whereever you are baby,be happy and be an angel  

Love,
Mummy

Hello Hair

It has been 2 months since I completed my chemotherapy. And the most exciting part of the recovery is that my hair is beginning to grow! Still as soft as ever hehe..

But the front of my head really not alot of hair :( Think I have balding front haha...

I wonder when can I muster the courage to go out without a wig. I would love that to happen. With a cool short hairstyle!

For now, the only complain I have is that I have to wipe my hair again. No more one sweep of the towel and it is dry. And I am starting to use A LITTLE BIT of shampoo to wash my hair. When I was botak I will use facial foam to wash my scalp, since the scalp is part of the face hahaha.. (That's what I read online la)

Ahh... we have hair!

Top View

Ally's wedding

Just attended Ally's wedding at Hotel Fort Canning.

She is one of the first few persons I know in my office when I just entered the company. A soft spoken but can be quite stubborn at times. Very kind and friendly.

I am so happy for her. She bought a house and finally got married :)

Have a blissful marriage, ALLY!

Business Class!

We got upgraded into Business class while on the way back from Hong Kong! So happy :)

Cathay Pacific actually have overbooked by 30% and just nice there was full attendance so they asked if we mind waiting for 4 hours but have a free upgrade to Business Class and also HKD 500 and HKD 250 for adult and kid respectively as compensation.

Of course, we accepted! hahahaha.. Ok I am such a cheapo. I always take budget and this is the first time I am on business class!

Totally satisfied with the food. There was a menu and it states the appetiser, main course and dessert for the day. There is also free chocolates for us to eat. The food is not like those lunch box kind we get in the economy class. And the seats can lie down 180 degrees.

And Business Class has priority queue when boarding and alighting the plane. So SHIOK LOR!

Spacious seat

HK Big Buddha - 4th Day 21.04.2012

Decided to skip the third day of HK trip (Disneyland) because it is all in my daughter's blog. Anyway that Disneyland trip was not very fruitful because it was raining.

So I shall blog about my trip to Big Buddha on 21.04.2012. Surprisingly, the weather was very good despite the weather forecast said that it will rain on that day too :(

We went to this restaurant for lunch with my hubby's friend who is based in Hong Kong. Apparently this is a very famous restaurant and require advanced booking. Located at Central MTR nearby. Hubby told me that he read the history and the boss started as those push cart seller and now has a whole building as its restaurant. Amazing! Price not cheap though.

Then after lunch, we decided to proceed to Lantau Island to visit the Big Buddha. The view is really magnificient on the cable car and at the Buddha top.

Photos below show the views from cable car:

Mountains

These house must have good fengshui

See the stairs!

 

We should all climb up there though it was very tiring. But it was fruitful and the air is wonderful.

Note the couple suit haha

Up on the mountain

2nd Day Hong Kong

Initial plan was to go to Disneyland but because of the rain, we decided to shop at CityGate Outlet and also take a walk at the Star Walk. The wet weather just spoil all our plans of the day :(

Restaurant for dimsum breakfast

Early morning so many people in the restaurant!

My Darling

The star walk

Recovery Trip HongKong - Day 1 (18 April 2012)

Ever since I had cancer, I realised how short life is and I kept pestering my hubby to bring me on a "recovery trip". Hence, we decided on HONG KONG!

It's not my first time there but considering bringing my in-laws and Vera, I try to go somewhere like Singapore. Where transportation is easy, food is accessible and water is clean.

We booked the air tickets during the NATAS fair on zuji.com and each ticket only $380 on Cathay Pacific. We also stayed in Metropark Mongkok Hotel. The hotel room is relatively spacious given how squeezy this city is. And only 3 minutes walk to the MTR station (Prince Edward Station). There are alot of food nearby although we really don't know where to eat. The Hong Kong cafe are not to our taste :(

The MTR is also very long compared to Singapore's MRT. I think the trains are twice the length of MRT? The people there are very impatient and not service orientated. They can throw the bill and plates at you. If you ask them more questions they will give you a black face and impatient look. I think it is the highly stressful life that they stay in. Imagine a city so crowded and living standards so high, it is quite normal to be so "pek cek".

Oh yah the MTR never break down and the frequency is very fast. Just that the stations are VERY troublesome for kids with strollers because most of the time, we had to use the stairs. Even if there are escalators, the Hong Kongers would be so pissed that we occupy the whole escalator with our strollers.

My first airplane since my honeymoon... 2.5 years!

My hotel room.. Metropark Mongkok

Our view from our room. Houses very old.

Took the train to go Victoria Peak



Central. On the way to The Peak.



The tram going up the mountain. Very steep. We were literally at 45 degrees

View at The Peak. Very foggy



At The Peak, we went to the Wax Museum to see celebrities.

Angelina Jolie

Brad Pitt. Super handsome!

Andy Lau!



The genius

 It was a super tiring trip even on the first day because we need to carry up and down the stroller at the MTR. Shag.

Genting highland trip 6-8April 2012

Finally went for a trip with my girlfriends after 10 years Of knowing them..

Firstly, I don't have many girlfriends. Secondly, I don't have much money haha.

Anyway it was just a short trip consists of eating, nua-ing and gambling..

We went during the good Friday long weekend and the jam was horrendous!
  

Before set-off at Golden Mile Complex

  

Took this 4D ride. Spent 1 hour queuing for it was a total waste of time.




These pretty ladies came up and we met! Love their cheekiness :)


Overall, it was a nice trip with good weather. I thank my hubby for letting me go on this trip while he takes care of Vera at home hahaha.

First day of work

After 5 months of mc I'm finally working!

First day comes a hell lots of packing and chit chatting.

Was feeling tire after 12 pm. Think still not used to being seated for so long. Felt a little backache. And eyes were a bit tired.

Bought one counter to congratulate I return to work Lolx.

Doc already told me I will feel tired more easily for first two months. It's true for the first day.

Slept at 10pm. Ignoring Vera's request to play.

Bye Bye Cancer, Bye bye CVC line

Have been carrying my CVC line for 4 months. This line is inserted in me and has brought tremendous convenience as there is no more needle poking for blood taking and chemotherapies. Amongst the convenience brings daily inconveniences as taking care of the line requires effort to prevent an infection which can be dangerous as it is close to the heart.

I was so afraid of taking out the line because I'm afraid of the pain. My doctor laughed and said " you have been such a brave girl, why are u afraid of this!!"

It's like a graduation ceremony when the line is taken out. Had a few congratulations from the staff at NCC when they know I'm getting rid of the line. Cheers!!

During the consultation, my doctor called the radiotherapist radiotherapy oncologist and they had an discussion if I should go through radiotherapy. She said my case is so rare (now then I know mine is called Epidural Lymphoma), there is very low sample size or examples to have a treatment enforced. Anyway, long story short, I DO NOT NEED RADIOTHERAPY!

However, I still carry this dormant lymphoma cells in my bone marrow. As long as it doesn't go aggressive, I can still lead a normal life. Chemo only kills aggressive and fast growing cells, so the dormant slow growing cells in my bone marrow is a ticking time bomb in my body.

But it just serves as a  reminder that life is so short that I have to enjoy, live it to the fullest and be happy.

My doctor also said I am very capable, always go and see doctor and do chemo alone. She exclaimed that until now she did not see my husband at all! That was what I was telling my hubby too. After my whole cancer saga, my hubby did not meet my doctor before! OMG!

My parents just drop me off and zoom they go home while it takes the whole day just to see doctor and do chemo. I also think I am very independent. Lolz. Most of the patients I see in NCC, they have a relative or a friend to accompany them, but I am always alone. Not because nobody cares about me but I just feel independent enough to do all these things. It's such a waste of time to wait there and do nothing. Ok. Maybe nobody cares about me hahahha!

My doctor even gave me a letter that states that I can only have light activities. If during work I have backache, I am granted to lie down and rest! Cannot imagine pitching a tent and lie down because of my backache. She asked me to take it easy when I go work because I will feel tired easily and back will get ache if my posture is not right.

Someone was complaining about pre-marriage jitters to me today and I told her, you wouldn't know if it is a mistake if you marry that person until you really marry him or her. Even if it is a mistake, as long as you know you have tried, there is no regrets and it is not the end of the world. Life continues.

We have to strive to be happy. A lot of people carry regrets and after living for 50-60 over years they say their life sucks and they lament about it. I do not want to be in that category of people. It is the most basic and most important need. Whatever you do, make sure you are happy! Smile and life will smile back at you.

How does chemo looks like

Took pictures of my chemo drugs because I do not want to have any encounters with them anymore.

Bye bye chemotherapy! Please do not come into my life again! Bye Cancer!

Drugs is in this purple bag. And through intravenous into me.

Towards Finale!!!

Just one more chemo to go and I'm going back to work soon!

Next week I'm going to stay for 4-5 days and one month later go back for scans and I'm officially in remission!

Suddenly, felt so lost like for these 4 months I have achieved nothing and "holidays" are ending soon. No achievements at all!

But definitely this period of time, I have experienced tremendous amount of love from family n friends and even long lost friends or just strangers whom I just meet during my stays in hospital.

I have also learnt how system in hospital works and how to do all your various claims. (Feel free to ask me)

I also see things in different light. I don't like to waste time listening to cold calls or talk to lor soh people. I take things easy as life is too short. U like that bag, buy it!

Whenever I feel very pek cek I will remind myself this quote "there are many crises in the world, spinach on the wall is not one of them!". This applies to mothers but I think it applies to life too.

I'm definitely cherishing my life more. Stop complaining. Be happy.

Thought of the day

在人世间有那么多牵挂，又怎舍得离开？
可有人却不忍世间残酷，而自行离开。

Infection stay

Have been in the hospital since Sunday. Came in due to infection and fever. But surprisingly when I am in here no bacteria was found in my blood and the fever has subsided. Nonetheless, still had to stay in hospital for observation purpose.

Have decided to stay in here for my last cycle of chemo which is today. Next Monday I have to admit again for my FINALE!

This stay there are three terminal illness patients same ward as me. Two have been lying in bed since. One of them has a nice husband. He told me he cried whenever he sees his wife in pain.

She has breast cancer and spread to brain already.

Makes me wonder why my hubby never cry huh?

I read somewhere that breasts cancer is top for women. And reason being the wired bras that women are wearing nowadays. Especially career women who has to wear it at work for longer hours. Wired bras prevent blood circulation hence may cause cancer.

I like the nurses in ward 48. All already know me and can sometimes tell me stories about other patients.

Bye bye toe nail!

Today my big toe nail is found officially under the blanket when I wake up in the morning.

Good bye toe nail!

Everything on me seems to be leaving me. My hair and my big toe nail.

Yesterday I was still scaring the nurses with my "peekaboo" toe nail. The nurses screamed like it was so painful. Quite funny!

Today it was found under the blanket. And yes I have been waking up to find if my toe nail is still around!

Shopping day! - New hairstyle!

Went shopping since 1pm with Lynn and bought quite a few things.

First we went Uniqlo and I bought a new pants. Then went to MDS Collections to buy this green top! Damn chio! Only $26 before 10% membership discount. So only around $23! So nice lor! I love it and I immediately changed to the new top and bottom. Lolx. Total revamp of my outfit of the day.

Then bought a new wig for $69 only! At Sinma, Lucky Plaza, those shops that sell alot of combs. 

And also bought a new bag! Kate Spade having last day sale. Bought a bag at 50%. Only $420 after discount and am going to bring to work next time. When have ipad, can put my ipad in and bring to and fro.

Alot of people say my new hair looks like my old one. Well, I have combined the photo so that there is a comparison!

New hair

Old hair

So got difference or not???

I LOVE SHOPPING!

Vday 2012

So happy I can celebrate Vday with the hubby this year  :)

This is our 4th Vday together and I still remember how we celebrated ours last year. We wanted to have Marche for dinner but there was a long queue so we proceeded to the Seah Imm Food Market and have our favourite MeeSoto. There was no expensive dinner, no flowers, no wine. Just two of us happily gobbling down our favourite food. To other people it is cheapskate. To me, that was romantic :)

So this year, we decided to have an early dinner on 13 Feb to beat the crowd. Waited for hubby to fetch me from RWS, we ordered our favourite milk shake for him to drink.

This is yummy-licious!

We do not like crowded places. So we went to the Hard Rock Cafe at RWS. Food portion was too big for two of us.

Our Vday dinner

Then on the actual day, I received flowers sent straight to my mum's place. AWW... So sweet of him. (But I always think flowers are a waste of money lei. Dont know why girls like it. It withers in days. I rather he buy me a pot of flowers that can last for months hahaha!)

Subsequently, I met two friends for lunch and dinner separately, instead of my hubby lolx!

You are my sunshine.

My Vday lunch with WF.

My Vday dinner date

Most importantly, I did a little charity today! Donated some money to WorldVision to kids in Africa. Really cannot stand starving kids. They really break my heart.

Life is short. Cherish.

It is recently that I am beginning to hear news of how people succumb to cancer and die. All these stories may be very pessimistic. But somehow, on the contrary, it makes me cherish my life and people around me even more. By hearing how someone can die suddenly or leave you one day without advance notice, I feel how important it is to treasure every waking moment and those people I meet.

So on the day I was admitted on 6 Feb 2012, I saw one of the patient during my last stay - Gladys. She was also due for admission because her body was rejecting the chemo medicine. She had to go in and do stem cells transplant I think. I remember she wanted to give it up and I think all these obstacles make her want to give up even more.

So I saw her and she was telling me the auntie, Grace (advanced liver cancer and do not want chemotherapy), who was my neighbour during the last stay passed away. I felt so sudden. Because she was so healthy on the day of my discharge. She was planning to go home for a short reunion with her family during the CNY. A very optimistic lady who easily chats people up. She was waiting for a space in hospice and I think shortly she gotten a space in the hospice after the CNY, she passed away. When I told hubby about her, tears welled up in my eyes.

Then when I was admitted, a nurse was telling me that she had a patient that passed away on that day. The patient, male age 30 (borned in 1980) had lymphoma and went in and out of hospital for the past one year or so. Has a girlfriend who stood by him. He had built up quite a number of friendships with the nurses there because of the one year he has been in and out of the hospital. Sometimes they even go smoke together. Actually, doctor already said he has recovered the lymphoma, then it came back as some leukemia (forgot the exact name). He was admitted in ICU and apparently his brain nerves are affected and he lost his cognitive motor skills. Subsequently, he was succumbed to the disease and passed away. The nurse intend to go with the other nurses to his wake.

There was another story that she told me because she knew I was pregnant when I found out about my cancer. She said she knew a lady with a 3 year old kid and was pregnant with a second one when she found out she had cancer (forgot what cancer). She insist on keeping the baby and went on for a low dose chemotherapy. She delivered the baby prematurely because she was having some difficulties mid way during the chemo. Subsequently she passed away also.

And this is the saddest part: During the wake, her daughter said "Shhhh.. Mummy is sleeping."

Now, her kids are taken care by their father and grandmother.

It may be very pessimistic especially when you are receiving treatment to hear about failure stories. I just hope it serves as a reminder to all of us that death is not an unavoidable event.

Happy :)

After being through so much, I am beginning to feel that things are going my way! Feel so happy that I need to share all these good things in my life.

• My own house: Finally got a decent queue no. from HDB (102 out of 196 units). 11 applications mind you! I think I deserve queue number 1 lor! Though not at my ideal place, still stuck at Tampines for the next 10 years or so. But at least it is at an affordable rate to us given the exorbitant price of houses in Singapore nowadays. This BTO will be built on a very vibrant part of Tampines. Near a mini town centre where there are alot of kopitiams and there is a big supermarket. An MRT station (Tampines West Station) will be coming up in 2017 which is part of the downtown line. The best part is, it will be completed by third quarter 2014! Just 2 years later! YAY!

• Ideal Childcare: When I thought that my little darling, who is a year-end baby will end up with no school to go (Every school in Tampines is full), and considering that she will be 4 years old next year, my ideal childcare, ELFA called me and said Vera has a space in there! I love that place. After seeing various childcare centres in Tampines I think ELFA is the cleanest and most vibrant. It is not the most expensive in the area (actually very expensive to us - $500 per month after subsidy) and just one road across our place. They have 10 kids with 2 teacher which I think it is the best ratio available. (But yea, I am a very paranoid mother. Kept asking whether I can be around with her or not. Oh well, she is my darling, my life.) *Wonder why Singapore government ask us to have more babies when the resources are limited and so expensive!*

• Bye bye mass: The mass in my spinal cord is no longer apparent. Means that my body is responding to chemo. And I think I have tolerated the chemo relatively well. Not much vomit or loss of appetite. Although I can already feel each chemo is making my body weaker and weaker. But as the doctor mentioned, I am reaching the end of a marathon so being tired is natural. And my doctor is very optimistic of my recovery. I am already planning what to do when I recover (a couple's retreat, a family overseas trip and maybe a mini party celebration). Well, one more chemo to go, I am not gonna let this stupid cancer cells beat me!

As what my hubby always say "When you are down, the only way is UP!"

So, UP UP WE GO!

P/S: I have been loving my bald head so much that I am no longer embarrassed showing my friends or people I meet my bald head. Well, how much longer can I be bald right? After skinning through death, I think being bald is NOTHING. So for people (especially skinny people) if you think you are fat, you are probably not. And confidence and a radiant smile is what makes you shine. By thinking you are fat, you lose that confidence, you lose that self esteem. Blah.

CNY 2012 - Be humble

Thank god for allowing me to spend this joyous occassion with my family! Love life :)

Sometimes I find CNY is nothing but meeting people whom you call relatives but you meet once a year and reluctantly give off that hongbao. It is such a torture recently when I find that relatives like to compare results, your job, whose bag is more branded or whose car is bigger.

If you are one of those people, think that you are so rich or so successful that you have to put other people down or look down on people, reflect. Humility goes a long long way. Yes you may be so rich now or have so much in life now, but you may also lose everything overnight. When that happens, people around you will only help you if you have been a humble person.

I was telling hubby about this and hubby said he doesn't care as long as the three of us are together as a family. I really have alot to learn from my this old hubby. He really can heck care all the negative things in life and move on be himself and love his family. Love him so much.

So my new year resolution is to be humble and be with humble people.

My lovely family

Cousin and Me

Brave and strong

Ever since people hear of my situation, I have been receiving compliments that I am a brave and strong girl. I actually felt flattered but didn't really think much of these two words until there is a room mate during this hospital stay told me that I was a strong girl.

I was kind of curious, so I asked her what made her say this since she is also a patient herself. Somehow it feels different from when my friends say the same thing.

She said because I was quite ok with the chemo. No whining, no crying, don't look scare and still can smile.

A little story about her: 58 year old lady, Gladys. Fought colon cancer in 2006. Relapsed recently. Initially rejected treatment but was encouraged by her doctors. Her cancer already spread to other parts of her body. A soft-spoken lady.

I never thought I could be associated with being brave and strong. 

I have been so timid since young.

When I was in primary school, I was scare of the teachers. I am so timid that I make sure I do my homework everyday and even cried every sunday because of pre-monday blues. I want to be at home I want to be sheltered like a little baby.

When I was in secondary school, every PE lesson I would feel giddy until the teach thought that I was a "chao geng" Ah Lian. And everytime I wanted to be strong, I just couldn't do it. I would still complain of being too weak to run.

When I went for my first three months during JC, I was the only one in my secondary school who went into that school. I was so scare. I cried. I wanted to be with my friends. I was so afraid of being alone.

When I got pregnant, I was so scare of being a mother and giving birth. I admired my friends who didn't use epidural when they gave birth. I told everyone I could never be so strong. And when my baby arrived, I didn't dare to carry her because she was so small so tiny and so fragile, I was afraid I couldn't be a good mummy.

So how can I be strong? How can I be brave?

Deep down inside I am a timid little girl (even my husband thinks so too)

I think I am just going through what most people thought was unthinkable. But hey, cancer is not unthinkable! It can happen to anyone and it is very very common.

Bravery is if I choose to have cancer so that I can show how strong I am by fighting it. On the other hand, Cancer chose me so I have no other choice but to fight it. That is called "认命". I am so timid, I leave everything to fate.

At least I think I am being very optimistic. I shop for comfort, I whine for attention.

And yes! I did not use epidural for giving birth! lolx.

First Lumbar Puncture

Yesterday I did my first lumbar puncture. It is done at the end of the spinal cord near the tail bone.

Purpose is to extract some spinal fluid to test and to put the chemo medicine into it too.

Doctor requested for me to do LP so that the medicine used is lesser and can be concentrated at the spinal fluid. It is to reduce the chance of it relapsing by 60-70%.

Because my lymphoma is at the spinal cord, the chance of it relapsing is very high. So doing the LP is necessary and need to do 4 times.

Total I took 4 local anesthesia (LA) and I had to lie to the side, curl up like a fetus. First time they poke in, they couldn't get any fluid so they poke another spot.

They also asked me changed position to a seated position and lean over a table.

I could feel some tingling sensation like a raw gum feeling. Scary max!

The whole procedure took 45 minutes or so. The whole procedure I distracted myself by sms-ing my dear cousin and the doctor said I was the first patient to do so.

She said I am the best patient! Yay yay!

Compared this to my bone marrow aspiration, I find it lumbar puncture is more painful! And the nurse was amazed that I actually felt this was more painful lolx.

And now, the sore is still there like a big blue black behind me. Felt like the nerves are in a mess at my pelvis area.

Blah!

New neighbour-Grace

This stay, I got to know a new neighbour - Grace.

I think she is in her 60s-70s. Diagnosed with advanced liver cancer.

But she say she do not want to go through chemo. Awaiting for the time to come and meet god.

Waiting for a bed in the hospice.

For a moment, I didn't know how to react. All along, the people I met, they are fighting to live. Go for chemo, go for operation and dialysis. They fight to survive.

But for Grace, she chose to give up. I don't know how to react or what questions to ask her.

I feel sad because I cannot imagine if I am her. I will be damn afraid. Imagine the cancer cells eat up your body and you smell of morphine, because you need morphine to get through the pain. Then, you will wither and become left with bones and die. (Is that how you die when cancer cells kill you?)

You know what is the best part? All her life she drank lots of anti-oxidant green tea with brown rice, eat oats every morning. She eat very healthy, never drink. And she gets liver cancer, advanced stage somemore.

So what?

Bone Marrow Results

Today I finally gotten my bone marrow results. Actually, I would never know the results unless I asked the doctor.

The bone marrow aspiration was done in mid November, and sometimes you just have to ask to know what is going on. Maybe doctors think you are stupid or too layman, you need to push them for the results.  All along I thought if no news means good news. Apparently, you have to ask and you will be given.

So back to the results. There are lymphoma cells present in the bone marrow. But it is non-aggressive.

The one at my spinal cord is diffuse large B-cell lymphoma. It is aggressive and fast growing means it will respond to chemo well. And there are additional CD30 expressions present in that. (Have to google what is CD30 expressions)

It was very heng that just nice the spot where they did the bone marrow aspiration (BMA) they found the scatter of cells. Chemo will still kill it. But it just means that there might be dormant cells lingering in the bone marrow awaiting to be erupted.

So I am a walking time machine, carrying dormant lymphoma cells walking around. So you guys, treat me like a queen ok? hahahhaa

Chemo Session 4 Part 1

Just had my 4th session of chemo yesterday. Means I am only left with two more sessions!

Next monday I am going to admit into SGH again for another 4 days. This time Doctor has instructed to do an MRI scan on my spine. I presume it is to see whether the mass has become smaller.

This time the chemo side effects is bad. After chemo at 2pm, I went home and slept from 4 to 8 pm. Then tried to sleep at 12am but to no avail.

Woke up at 2am to vomit. And the vomit makes my throat super hot. Like as if I just had 麻辣火锅！

And I thought I was tolerating the side effects well and there comes vomiting. Really cannot be too 嚣张.


P/S: Anybody wana visit me next week at SGH? Please do so ok? I will be damn bored.

Loving my new wig

My mum's friend shaved her hair because she went for a temporary 出家. I admire her to shave her hair for no other sick reasons!

So she said she bought her wig from Thailand and she intend to give me one because it looked too young on her.

At first I rejected as I seldom wear my own wig because it was quite uncomfy and the fringe was a bit too difficult to manage. Then later I tried her wig, I am totally loving it! Somehow it is very natural. Because it has frays of hair flowing and the fringe is not entirely stuck to the cap. (don't know how to explain). So, ya I "kop-ed" the wig from her.

Looked like china doll, said Cousin.

P/S: Remember I bought a new wig on 18 Dec and the website stated that it has been delivered, but till date, I have yet to receive it. Best part is I wanted to let them know on the website but it kept failed to load my orders page. No way to contact them. I felt cheated!

Best doctor -- Dr Miriam Tao

Today's schedule: Appointment at 1145am to see Dr Miriam Tao. Asked to reach one hour earlier for blood test.

11am: Went to NCC and take blood test.

12pm: While waiting to see Doctor, the nurse told me to go for lunch as there were 9 people ahead of me. Took a shuttle bus out of SGH and had lunch at chinatown. (Felt like an achievement as I always thought shuttle buses are rocket science.)

1.15pm: Finally took the shuttle bus back to SGH. While on the bus, received an SMS to say I have 2 more patients ahead of me.

1.40pm: Alighted at NCC and thought I was late! But actually the number is still stuck at the one indicated on the SMS. (Still the same patient)

2.30pm: Nurse asked me to move to another clinic, because the afternoon shift doctors are taking over the clinics already.

Then while waiting for my turn, I heard two aunties complaining about the waiting time. They say that was the longest they have ever waited. And the nurse told them that I will be the last while they will go before me.

3pm: Dr Miriam Tao's nurse came out and call my name. Immediately the aunty behind me told her that she is supposed to be ahead of me. Dr Tao has to come out and tell them that I am having chemo so I go first. The two aunties must be damn pissed.

Oh, I said Dr Miriam Tao is the best doctor because she is so nice! When I walked into her room, she immediately "sayang" me by saying I am such a patient girl. She even gave me a privilege that the next time if I have waited for more than half an hour, I can knock on the door and tell her I am outside. She will let me go in first. She will even indicate on my file to give me priority. Reason being I am on chemo and my legs are inconvenient.

Aww.... Feel that she really takes care of me.

And feel guilty for acting weak! hahahaha

Top 10 Detox Foods

Abstracted from Yahoo!

Lemon

Lemons are a staple of many detox diets, and there is good reason for this. Firstly, lemons are packed with antioxidant vitamin C, which is great for the skin and for fighting disease-forming free-radicals. Furthermore, the citrus fruit has an alkaline effect on the body, meaning that it can help restore the body's pH balance, benefitting the immune system. Try starting your day with hot water and a slice of lemon to help flush out toxins and cleanse your system.

Ginger

If too much fatty food or alcohol has caused problems for your digestive system, it may be worthwhile adding some ginger to your diet. Ginger is not only great for reducing feelings of nausea, but it can help improve digestion, beat bloating and reduce gas. In addition to this, ginger is high in antioxidants and is good for boosting the immune system. To give your digestion a helping hand, try sipping on ginger tea or adding some freshly grated ginger to a fruit or vegetable juice.

Garlic

Garlic has long been known for its heart benefits, however the pungent food is also good at detoxifying the body. Garlic is not only antiviral, antibacterial and antibiotic, but it contains a chemical called allicin which promotes the production of white blood cells and helps fight against toxins. Garlic is best eaten raw, so add some crushed garlic to a salad dressing to boost its flavour and your health at the same time.

Artichoke

If you have recently been overindulging in fatty foods and alcohol, adding some steamed globe artichoke leaves to your meals is a great way to help get your body back on track. Globe artichokes are packed with antioxidants and fibre and can also help the body digest fatty foods. On top of this, globe artichoke is renowned for its ability to stimulate and improve the functions of the liver - the body's main toxin-fighting tool.

Beetroot

For those needing a quick health-boosting shot of nutrients, you can't do much better than beetroot. Packed with magnesium, iron, and vitamin C, the vegetable has recently been hailed as a superfood due to its many reported health benefits. Not only is beetroot great for skin, hair and cholesterol levels, but it can also help support liver detoxification, making it an ultimate detox food. To enjoy its benefits, try adding raw beetroot to salads or sipping on some beetroot juice.

Green tea

While it's not technically a food, no detox plan would be complete without regular consumption of essential liquids. Fluids are essential for keeping our organs healthy and helping to flush toxins from the body, and drinking green tea is a great way of boosting your intake. Green tea is not only a good weight-loss drink, but it is extremely high in antioxidants. Research has also suggested that drinking green tea can protect the liver from diseases including fatty liver disease.

Cabbage

Many celebs have resorted to the cabbage soup diet to help lose weight and get in shape quickly before a big event, however cabbage is not only good for weight loss - it is also an excellent detoxifying food. Like most cruciferous vegetables (including broccoli and sprouts), cabbage contains a chemical called sulforaphane, which helps the body fight against toxins. Cabbage also supplies the body with glutathione; an antioxidant that helps improve the detoxifying function of the liver.

Fresh fruit

Fresh fruits are high in vitamins, minerals, antioxidants and fibre= and are also low in calories, making them an important part of a detox diet. If you're after brighter eyes and skin, shinier hair and improved digestion, try boosting your intake of fruit and eating from a wide variety of different kinds. The good news is fruit is easy to add to your diet, so try starting your day with a fresh fruit salad or smoothie and snacking on pieces of fruit throughout the day.

Brown rice

If you want to cleanse your system and boost your health, it is a good idea to cut down on processed foods. Instead, try supplementing your diet with healthier whole grains such as brown rice, which is rich in many key detoxifying nutrients including B vitamins, magnesium, manganese and phosphorous.  Brown rice is also high in fibre, which is good for cleansing the colon, and rich in selenium, which can help to protect the liver as well as improving the complexion.

Watercress

Like most green herbs and vegetables, watercress is an excellent health-booster and detox food. Firstly, watercress leaves are packed with many vital detoxifying nutrients, including several B vitamins, zinc, potassium, vitamin E and vitamin C. Secondly, watercress has natural diuretic properties, which can help to flush toxins out the body. To reap the benefits of this nutritious food, try adding a handful of watercress to salads, soups and sandwiches.

Rashes oh Rashes

My CVC line site has rashes erupting!


Itchy... Itchy.... Itchy....

Desperately went to Watson's to buy the dressing to change to non-waterproof. (Buy in SGH is cheaper)

Numb Fingers

Yes! Chemo causes finger tips to be numb.

Could be temporary, could be permanent.

No cause for alarm because I do not play musical instruments and I still can write.

Why don't chemo just numb my heart.

New friend

The last stay at SGH, there was a patient, Helen (it's her real name), who is coincidentally my neighbour during my stay.

A short introduction of her: 58 year old lady, married with one son. Worked in the Immigration and Checkpoint as some officer who checks people coming into Singapore. Is currently going through treatment for myeloma. It is a rare blood cancer which affects 4 out of 100,000 people. And it is generally thought as incurable. She has went though a series of chemo but apparently her body does not respond to chemo so now she has to go through a stem cell transplant. This has been going on for a year or something. Her doctor said if she hadn't found out of this cancer, she could only have 2 more years. Now hopefully she can extend to 12 years with all the treatment.

How will you feel, if your doctor tells you that you only have 12 more years to live?

She said she would like to do sewing when she is well. And she has been going to work. She feels alive going to work and at no thoughts of retiring earlier. She planned to retire at 62 years old.

A brave lady. Very optimistic and strong.

She makes me feel embarrassed at my own problems. My sickness is so treatable, so insignificant beside hers.And I also have no plans when I am well! I only plan if I should go HK or else where. hahahhaa..

She really made my stay so enjoyable listening to her stories. Time passes faster and we even exchanged numbers.

She said whenever she had treatment at NCC, she would see alot of young people there too. She will pray for them and hope they recover soon.

Because myeloma causes bone lesions, she start to worry that she might become immobile. So she insist she has to be independent and make full use of her legs. But she isn't quite sad because she said immobile comes with old age and she is ageing too.

I pray for you, Helen. Let's FIGHT!