Bye bye November 2011

November 2011 is coming to an end in 2.5 hours time.

What have you achieved done in this month? Have you said I love you to your dearest? Have you went to the restaurant you have always wanted to go? Have you bought that dress you always dreamt yourself in? Have you went kite flying (I don't know why I thought of kite flying as the most interesting activity, but go for it if you haven't) Have you taken a break from work?....

Ok the list goes on. My idea is... go for the things you have always wanted to do. Learn pole dancing, write a love letter, learn taichi (muahahha).

For me, November 2011 entails a lot of unexpected events for me.

I had an spinal cord operation on 30 Oct (ok that is not November. But that is the start of the story). The doctor said he has to cut me up operate on me to take this "mass" that is growing in my spinal cord and was pressing on my BIG nerve. He HAS to cut me up or else I will be paralysed. I was for your info already 95% numb in both my legs for one day. It was scary. Really scary. I cannot go toilet, cannot walk, totally dependent on people to do my daily acitivities. My legs are from waist down, cold and numb. No blood flow. No feeling.

Numerous doctors came in and out of my ward, tested my toes up and down, I got it all wrong. They tickled my feet and I don't feel itchy. They asked me to kick and lift up "try your best!" was all they shouted because I couldn't lift my legs at all. I replied" I am trying my best already!"

The doctor said 3 days, mind you, 3 days and I will be totally permanently half paralysed.

It was an emergency operation. It was emergency because they cannot allow a 26 year old, young, pretty, have a bright future, with a 2 year old kid be paralysed. Not so if I am 86 years old. So if I am 86 years old, I get to be paralysed and wait to die. I really do not want that to happen at 86. But at that old age, no one could survive this 4 hour operation anyway.

No discussions (they only gave me 5 minutes to do the discussion with my family members) no negotiation. I had to do the operation. Take out that stupid mass and do a biopsy test. The mass is in my spinal cord, it is impossible to take out whole of the mass (it will be a SUPER MAJOR 14 hour operation cutting front and back. I might not survive it). So they have to cut me up at the back, take out part of my bone, sew me back and test the mass.

Initially, they saw the mass and presumed it to be tuberculosis (TB), so they quarantined me. I didn't know that TB can occur on other sites other than the lungs? Anyway, I hope it was TB. Just a string of anti-biotics and viola! TB is gone.

Give me TB, give me TB!

After the operation, my aim is to stand up and walk and use my legs. So there you go the strings of physiotherapies and occupational therapies. Ah Ha! What's the difference right?

Physio teaches walking and learn how to use the walking stick (at least that's my impression of what the physio has done to me). Occupational therapist taught me how to roll to the side from the lying position, put my legs down and sit up. She also taught me how to put on my own pants in a sitting position. So OT is more towards daily activities. I am very grateful for the ladies (I forgot their names) in TTSH who are so patient and nice to taught me those simple activities and so encouraging. (the ones at SGH are impatient and do not come everyday, hence I did not get to move much in SGH).

Gotta wear a turtle shell a.k.a corset (I don't know why this sexy term. It is the least sexy thing I have ever worn), or rather the back brace for 3 long months. Gotta make sure my spine doesn't go mis-aligned you know? It makes me have limited choices for my clothes. I can only wear a big t-shirt or a sweater to cover this big piece of thing hugging my body.

Then one week later, I couldn't remember the exact date. My report is out from the lab. They concluded it is not TB. The infectious disease department already stopped visiting me. They know it is not infectious disease, it is a tumor.

Yes, A TUMOR! Tumor is a scary word. Malign or benign? Cancerous or non cancerous?

Why not TB? I want a TB!

So, my surgeon broke the news to me. He said to me in a straight face with his spectacles as big as a goggles. "You have Lymphoma. I am glad it is lymphoma and not other kind of cancer. It is highly treatable." Then he walked away.

I sat there.

Highly treatable sounds good. Lymphoma? What is Lymphoma? Ok. Not going into details. It is just cancer.

Next comes the oncologist from John Hopskin. "Well, you have aggressive B cells Lymphoma. It is highly treatable. Don't worry. You will need to go through 6 sessions of chemotherapy" -- This is a summary. I cannot really remember what else he said.

Then I realise that my dear insurance company, Prudential, do not cover John Hopskin. So I got transferred to the National Cancer Centre (NCC) at SGH. I will be doing my treatment there.

No crying. No sobbing. No whining. No complaints.

I did not do any of the above after I know I got diagnosed with Lymphoma. I was calm and I accept things as it is. As long as I go through the treatment I will be treated. I will survive like our dear PM Lee. (He was diagnosed with Lymphoma in 1992. He is still alive now. Just that he did not seek treatment locally. Hmmm... If I met him I would like to ask him why)

Anyway, I am really very lucky I bought a well-covered hospitalisation plan. For all the fuss about my condition. I did not have to worry any one cent about my hospitalisation bills, NOT A SINGLE CENT.

I even told the doctor "Do not care about the finance. I am totally covered. Just give me the best" (ok I did not say that last part. But it was ringing in my head. I need the best! Da Best!)

I bought Prudential's A premier. (No, I am not advertising) Pay for rider (the one that covers your co-insurance and deductibles.) I bet you wouldn't want to worry about whether your medisave have enough to pay for your hospitalisation bills while you are lying on the hospital bed getting poked by all sorts of needles. You just want to watch that TV show peacefully while getting poked again..... and again.

Buy the one that covers until private hospital and A1 ward in restructured hospital. You would want to be able to choose whether to get cured in that private hospital or those government hospital. You wouldn't want to sleep in that C class ward. Where there is no air con and it is in open concept. It is sad.

So buy that hospitalisation plan please. Pay for rider. Buy the best. My bill at TTSH with a spinal operation, 1 day ICU, 5 days B1 ward, 2 days in A1 ward. Amounted to a whopping $20,000! All well-taken care of by my hospitalisation plan.

And if you have this plan, you can request for Letter of Guarantee (LOG) during admission. This allows the insurance company to guarantee you a certain amount and you do not need to pay that deposit upon admission.

FYI, one chemo session costs me 6K. I have 6 chemo sessions. Do the math.

At SGH, stayed for 2 weeks.

Had an abortion. Yes. Emotional. But I am no risk taker when it comes to the health of my child. I cannot afford. Furthermore, granted that my back cannot take any more heavy burden, it just means I cannot lug a big tummy with a baby inside. I have to go through 5 months of chemo. Not good for the baby. I am sorry.

Put that catheter tube into my body. I now have a permanent tube sticking out at my right chest. This tube allows blood taking and chemo drugs to be done through it. No pain. No poking. No bruises at my hands anymore. But have to take good care cannot allow for infection. The tube links all the way near to my heart. If not done properly, might poke through the lungs, affect the heart. Spare me the details. As if cancer is not enough.

Done my first chemotherapy in my life. Chemotherapy does not involve BIG machines like how the name suggests. It is putting poison drugs into your body to kill all your good cells, bad cells, hair and immune system. As this chinese saying goes 宁可杀错，不可放过。Kill, kill, kill.

Yea, it makes me want to sleep. It makes me vomit three times. And it makes me bald.

Stayed at home for one week after discharge. Basically, my day is wake up and see my Mum cook. Learn to cook (I'm trying the theory only haha). Eat eat eat like there is no tomorrow. I try to eat all the good fruits and food. Stuff myself with all the anti-oxidant food to tilt the scale of winning cancer to my side.

Then I will blog, surf facebook, window shop online, look at shares.

And if I am really really really bored, I read. I have in my whole life never read more than 5 books I think. But now I read. Reading makes me feel more knowledgeable, I read about inspirational books, health books and cancer books.

I will pester my mum to bring me out. I like to go out and shop, I mean breathe fresh air. Obviously, physiotherapy don't work. Shopping works! Ohh. I mean breathe fresh air works. *breathe*

Basically this is my month of November 2011.

I survived.

Advantages of having cancer?

It's not that I love having cancer, but there are some things I like about it.

I hope everything that I list will continue after I recover. lolx..

Advantages of having this invading cells that attempts to ruin my body quietly but got found out, or cancer in short:

• ZZZ monster: When I say I want to sleep, nobody says I am lazy. I get the privilege to sleep. Anytime. Anywhere. I get to nap in the afternoon for as long as I want. All I need to say is "I am very tire. I think it's the chemo." I get to blame it on the chemo. If I wake up too early, my mum will force me back to sleep. 

• Byebye hair: I love my hair. But if only it grows on my head. Why is our body designed to have hair on the armpits and erm.... the private part, or pubic area? So the armpit hair (or nicer term: underarm hair) actually have a purpose. That is to wick off sweat or other moisture so that it prevents bacteria from growing. Pubic hair is there to prevent yeast infections and to hold the scent of pheremones to attract men. Ok. Enough of the explanation. Who the hell wants armpit hair and pubic hair? Not for me though. So bye bye hair (not the head)! Yes. Say you envy me! muahahhaa. For sure, I have no need for waxing or shaving for at least the next six months. As for my bald head, I can wear lotsa different kind of wig. Look fake? I will just look into the eyes of those that stare at me and say "I know you love my hair..." -- the only sad part is I have a IPL underarm package used once only.

• Convenient excuse: It is a good excuse for anything you do not wish to do or forgot to do. Call the credit card company and says "I am sorry for the late payment. I was diagnosed with CANCER and I cannot go down to AXS machine to make that payment. Can you please waive it off?" (p.s. I did not do this. I made it up. But hey it is a good excuse ain't it?) 

• Sulk and you are excused: I seldom sulk because I am such a cheerful and happy person. I pout. But ONCE IN A WHILE when I sulk, blame it on the chemo. The chemo is making me feeling..... sulky?

• Spend and you are forgiven: I love shopping. Who doesn't? Just that at this point of time, I have even more reason to go SHOPPING! Woohoo~ My hubby used to nag at me when I spend money. But now I just have to say "It makes me happy. I don't know if I have any more time to spend. Please darling" And he melts and parts with the money. Ok. I am exaggerating. I don't exactly buy things. I buy what I need not what I want. Those gmarket shopping for handphone accessories and dresses are what I need not what I want. It's a NEED not WANT! Hear me?

• At least, it is cancer: I have time to do what I want. I still can do what I want. I have high rate of survival because it is Lymphoma. I still can spend time with Vera and say I love you to people around me. At least, today I die, I leave with no regrets. Morbid huh? Imagine I flip the newspaper and see people die of accidents, people jog and have sudden heart attack, corpse floating in Bedok reservoir, people having a nice dream but they die in their dreams. I bet all these people have no chance to do what they want, say what they want to say. They must have left with lots of regrets. So people, nobody is spared from death or impervious to death. Please treat everyday as your last and wake up and be glad you are alive (I hope).

Ok I am going to sleep already. It's raining. So comfortable. It's Wednesday. It's 3p.m.

Good night world. Bye bye you poor souls slogging. 

Green Apple

An (green) apple a day keeps the doctor away. 

Everybody knows the above phrase. I found out that green apple is actually much better than red apple!

And now as part of my diet, I include green apple. It is crunchy, refreshing and lotsa vitamins and most importantly anti-oxidant! So good right?

Alot of people scare it is sour. But I think whets the appetite with a refreshing dose.

All of you should include one green apple into part of your daily diet.

So let's unveil the goodness secrets of this green treasure:

Nutritional data of green apple:

• Carbohydrate
  • Dietary Fiber
• Sugar
• Protein
• Vitamins
  • Vitamin A
  • Vitamin C
  • Riboflavin
  • Vitamin E
  • Thiamin (B1)
  • Niacin
  • Vitamin B6
  • Pantothenic Acid
• Minerals
  • Calcium
  • Magnesium
  • Iron
  • Manganese
  • Potassium
  • Copper
  • Zinc

Health benefits of green apple fruit:

• Green apples are good source of dietary fiber which helps in regulating bowel movements and so improves digestive property. Ultimately, it reduces the risk of colon cancer.
• The fiber content of apples helps in decreasing cholesterol levels in the body.
• Daily intake of apple reduces the risk of skin diseases.
• Consuming apples prevent digestive and liver problems. Eat a green apple after a non vegetarian meal for easy digestion.
• Also, it contains a number of antioxidant such as polyphenol and flavonoid that decrease the risk of development of cancer by preventing DNA damage.
• Green apples contain malic and tartaric acids which neutralize indigestion, hence preventing constipation and diarrhea.
• As a source of pectin, protein, calcium, carbohydrates, sodium, magnesium, potassium, phosphorus, zinc and iron, green apples also help to purify blood, stop bleeding, clear gout and rheumatism, prevent gallstones, maintain cleanliness of the teeth, and enhance memory.
• It does not contain any cholesterol so helpful for people who are trying to decrease their weight.
• Apples can boost appetite with its secretion of organic acid to regulate intestinal peristalsis.
• On concerning to beauty, green apples are rich source of vitamins A, B and C and have nourishing and whitening effects on the skin.

Wow reading all these makes me grab my green apple and munch! MUNCH MUNCH MUNCH!

What is Chemotherapy?

I like the way this blogger described Chemotherapy. Full of humour and he makes Chemotherapy sounds like having some fun.

What Is Chemotherapy?

Before all this I didn’t really know what the difference between chemo and radiation was, it all just seemed like some nondescript, horrible stuff that I hoped I never had to go through.

But the world keeps spinning, and it turns out chemo and radiation are two different things. I’m still not entirely clear on what radiation is, and I’m not sure I’ll even have to go through it, so I’m happy to just discuss chemo.

Chemotherapy is a treatment for cancer that involves an IV, a lazy boy recliner, and chocolate chip cookies. The lazy boys at the place I go are all green and covered in fake leather. They are lined up against a wall with dividers between them, giving the same sort of fragile privacy that similar dividers provide in men’s bathrooms.

Each lazy boy has a phone next to it. This is in case you are super busy and need to make important phone calls whilst they are pumping you full of the drugs that will damn-near kill you. I don’t know anyone this busy.

Each chair is also equipped with it’s own television that gets poor reception of local stations. This is convenient if you are really nuts about daytime television and you wouldn’t miss your soaps for anything.

The cookies are in the waiting room. I don’t know where they get them, but they are awesome. Clearly the bakery keeps the best cookies for us cancer patients. They probably use a pound of butter in each cookie, but I mean, what do we care, right? What, is it going to give us cancer? Gimme one of those damn cookies, and put more butter in it next time.

The rest of the cancer center is pretty sterile looking. The walls are painted with the soothing, tan color that they always use on those HGTV shows. Hanging in the corner is an embroidered acronym that cleverly uses the individual letters of CHEMOTHERAPY in a sad prayer. There are also small dolls dressed as nurses. This corner freaks me out.

The real nurses sit at a big desk and talk on the phone to doctors. Behind them is a big ice and water machine. The water and ice machine is the biggest piece of equipment in the whole place.

When you come for your chemotherapy session, they first take your blood and send it off to “the lab,” which must be a place very, very far away, judging on the amount of time it takes for things to go and come back from it. You then have to wait a few hours for the far-away people at “the lab” to test your blood.

An order is then sent to “the pharmacy,” another place in a far-off land, where they measure out and mix the drugs that they will be giving you. The drugs have to be measured exactly, based on your height and weight that day.

Meanwhile, you are still sitting in the lazy boy, watching your soaps and eating your butter cookies. The nurses hook up an IV to the port that was surgically implanted in your chest and give you huge amounts of “saline.” “Saline” is something that looks like water that is apparently not water that makes you have to go to the bathroom a lot.

Before the drugs come, the nurse, who in my case, is sort of cute, puts several drugs through your IV. First, she puts in a steroid called Decadron. This is to bolster your system before the other drugs destroy your system. Having Decodron is a lot like having a direct IV drip of pure, liquid caffeine.

Then the nurse puts Benedryl through the IV, which makes you extraordinarily tired. You might fall asleep at this point, but as you are unable to stop moving from the Decadron, sleep is not really an option.

Then the chemo drugs come. Their are four different drugs that need to go into you before you can leave. The first one is colored like red Kool-Aid. It’s a little frightening to see the red liquid floating down the IV tube towards your body. You think, “OH GOD, here it comes!” And the nurse is looking at you, and you are looking at the nurse, and suddenly it seems like all the other patients are looking at you, and you are looking at them, and the red stuff is coming down the pipe, and the nurse is looking at you, and you can’t stop fidgeting, and the room is getting smaller, and it’s coming and it’s coming and it’s coming!!!!

But then it’s not so bad. It doesn’t feel like anything. One by one they put all the drugs into you and it doesn’t feel like anything. You might as well just watch your soap operas, because it’s not exciting. I bring my laptop or my iPod and watch movies and listen to music.

Then they give you a few shots that will, again, help fix the system that the drugs just screwed up. By this point you are pretty sick of being stuck with needles and you have had your fill of butter cookies. They take out the IV and they tell you to go home, that’s it.

Comfortably bald

I feel very at peace with my bald head.

I can face myself in the mirror already.

Feel very cooling, too cooling in the middle of the night with aircon. But in the day time it is very cooling to be botak.

And hubby says he feels such a disaster that now Vera and I look so alike. hahahaha..

Going to upload my bald picture.....

*drum rolls*

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

Love our hairless head

Ok... To be fair, Vera is not exactly hairless. She has more hair than me now!

What is Lymphoma?

After being diagnosed with Lymphoma for so long, today I woke up and decide to research on it. Hahahaha!


Apparently, Lymphoma is very common. It is a cancer in the lymphatic cells of the immune system. But Lymphoma that occurs primarily at the spinal cord or bone is rare. It is only 1% of the case. With appropriate treatment the 5 year survival can be as high as 30-40%. However, the disease tends to recur and be associated with a very poor prognosis. Independent prognostic factors are age and neurological performance status.


Mine did not spread to the bone marrow and it is very contained at the spinal cord. But I don't know what is the risk of spreading. Thats why have to combine with a healthy diet or anti-cancer diet to prevent this cancer cells from spreading.


According to http://www.medicalnewstoday.com/info/cancer-oncology/

What is Cancer? What Causes Cancer?

Cancer is a class of diseases characterized by out-of-control cell growth. There are over 100 different types of cancer, and each is classified by the type of cell that is initially affected.

Cancer harms the body when damaged cells divide uncontrollably to form lumps or masses of tissue called tumors (except in the case of leukemia where cancer prohibits normal blood function by abnormal cell division in the blood stream). Tumors can grow and interfere with the digestive, nervous, and circulatory systems, and they can release hormones that alter body function. Tumors that stay in one spot and demonstrate limited growth are generally considered to be benign.

More dangerous, or malignant, tumors form when two things occur:

1. a cancerous cell manages to move throughout the body using the blood or lymph systems, destroying healthy tissue in a process called invasion
2. that cell manages to divide and grow, making new blood vessels to feed itself in a process called angiogenesis.

When a tumor successfully spreads to other parts of the body and grows, invading and destroying other healthy tissues, it is said to have metastasized. This process itself is called metastasis, and the result is a serious condition that is very difficult to treat.

In 2007, cancer claimed the lives of about 7.6 million people in the world. Physicians and researchers who specialize in the study, diagnosis, treatment, and prevention of cancer are called oncologists.

What causes cancer?

Cancer is ultimately the result of cells that uncontrollably grow and do not die. Normal cells in the body follow an orderly path of growth, division, and death. Programmed cell death is called apoptosis, and when this process breaks down, cancer begins to form. Unlike regular cells, cancer cells do not experience programmatic death and instead continue to grow and divide. This leads to a mass of abnormal cells that grows out of control.

I was diagnosed with Diffuse Large B Cell Lymphoma.

So mine was Lymphoma of the Spinal Cord, extracted from this website:

What is Spinal Cord Cancer?Cancers of the spinal cord may be of the Lymphoma type. The spinal cord forms part of the central nervous system. It is a cylindrical continuation of the brainstem, commencing from the medulla (at the level of the foramen magnum at the base of the skull) and extending to the conus medullaris at the level of the L2 vertebra. It is located within the vertebral canal - the bony tube formed by the vertebral foramina. Below the level of L2, the remaining contents of the spinal canal are known as the cauda equina, the bundle of nerve rootlets in the subarachnoid space. Within the vertebral canal run the spinal cord, the spinal meninges, the cerebrospinal fluid, associated vessels and loose connective and fatty tissue.Arising from the spinal cord are 31 pairs of spinal nerves that are the neural connections between the peripheries and the central nervous system. They attach to the spinal cord through ventral and dorsal roots and have both afferent and efferent properties. That is, the spinal cord acts as the main pathway for communication between the brain and the rest of the body.Tumours of the spinal cord can be either primary or metastatic. The vast majority of spinal cord tumours are metastatic deposits from other primary sites. Tumours of the spinal cord can be divided into three groups, based on the anatomical location of the tumour mass.Firstly, they are divided by their relationship to the spinal meninges, with tumours being classified as intradural or extradural. Furthermore, intradural tumours can be subdivided into those arising within the substance of the spinal cord itself - intramedullary tumours - or those arising in the subarachnoid space (extramedullary).Extradural tumours most commonly represent metastases and usually arise within the vertebral bodies. These tumours most commonly cause spinal compression through extrinsic mass effect but can on occasion do so through intradural invasion. Symptoms from these tumours tend to be the slowly progressing features of spinal cord compression with initial predominantly motor loss followed by progressive sphincter dysfunction and ascending sensory loss. Extradural tumours represent the vast majority of spinal cord tumours.Intradural extramedullary tumours tend to be nerve sheath tumours (neurofibromas) or meningiomas. They commonly present with nerve root involvement consisting of pain and progressive dysfunction due to spinal cord compression from the expanding tumour mass.Intramedullary tumours usually represent gliomas ependymomas or astrocytomas, but metastatic deposits within the spinal cord itself are being increasingly recognised. These tumours result in a diffuse swelling of the spinal cord, often over several segments, characterised by loss of local function, pain and eventual loss of spinal cord function below the level of the lesion. A cyst may form in the spinal medulla, giving rise to a clinical picture of syringomyelia (predominant loss of spinothalamic function pain and temperature sensation - and blunted reflexes at the level of the lesion). Sacral sparing is a very late feature of intramedullary tumours but is pathognomonic.The image shown above right is of an MRI scan that illustrates multiple vertabral metastases causing spinal cord compression.

Statistics on Spinal Cord Cancer

Lymphoma of the Spinal Cord is rare. Lymphoma of the spinal cord most commonly represents metastatic disease but can occasionally occur as a primary malignancy. Primary spinal lymphoma represents less than 1% of all CNS (central nervous system) lymphoma and occurs with increasing age with sex incidence being approximately equal.Geographically, the tumour is found worldwide.

Progression of Spinal Cord Cancer

This type of tumour spreads by infiltration of the cerebrospinal fluid and seeding within the central nervous system. In less than 10% of patients distant metastases occur to sites such as the viscera, bones and soft tissues.

Prognosis of Spinal Cord Cancer

Untreated primary lymphoma of the central nervous system is rapidly fatal with median survival of only months from the time of diagnosis. With appropriate treatment the 5 year survival can be as high as 30-40%. However, the disease tends to recur and be associated with a very poor prognosis. Independent prognostic factors are age and neurological performance status.

23 Nov 2011 (Wed) -- BOTAK day!

Today is the day I say goodbye to my hair. Never thought this day would even happen to me in this lifetime ever!

Dad brought me back to the hairdresser opposite our house to shave it all off.

I cried during the whole "ceremony". Cannot stop the tears.

I cannot recognise myself.

I look really sick now.

I don't dare to scare people with my bald head. So don't think I am uploading any photos until I am used to it.

Then cousin went with me for scarf shopping at Vivocity! She must be feeling very weird holding my hand to walk! Think it is our first body contact ever hahha! I shop until my whole body is aching and falling apart. I need more exercise!

Bought two scarfs at Mango for $88! Very expensive but very nice and material is quite good.

Anyhow tie at home.

Pink polka dots..

So it is pretty emotional to have no hair.

And it is very cold to sleep at night with no hair. Very pricky on the pillow when sleep also.

Can sleep immediately after bathe is the advantage of bald head haha!

Was watching this youtube video on how to tie head with T-shirt. This girl has lymphoma same as me and she looks so optimistic and sunny. I like her :) The part where she was saying her friend asked if dropping hair was liberating, I could feel her emotions and I teared.

Food: Honey

I have been reading alot on cancer-fighting food. And healthy food that we should incorporate into our lives so we can have a longer lives. 


I think everybody should yearn and strive to put good food into their body. We are already being surrounded by air pollution, chlorinated water, high stress level, insufficient sleep. In order to have a better health, we can control the diet that we take. 


Would like to share some of the researches I did online and reading some health books more importantly, it is for my own references.


So I woke up at 5am, researching on the benefits of HONEY!


As a cancer patient, cancer cells feed on sugar. So I try to eliminate sugar in my diet now (slowly bit by bit). And I was thinking if I can replace honey with sugar.

HONEY HONEY HONEY!

This very good website has a concise information on honey and ways to eat honey. 


According to the website:

Honey is Anti-Cancer!

Honey does not cure cancer but what many people don't think enough of or have overlooked is - honey possesses carcinogen-preventing and anti-tumour properties!


How much honey can I eat every day?


According to website: 


 "not more than 10 teaspoons of honey (which is about 50ml) per day. This is formulated based on advice from some trusted honey stores, and not based on any medical point of view backed by scientific data."


"if all this while you have been taking tea, coffee, or juices with table sugar in all your regular meals, you could straight away replace the sugar with honey. "


LOSING WEIGHT!


IF you are looking to lose weight, can use honey too:)


Honey and lemon: mix one teaspoon of raw honey (unheated) with the juice of two teaspoons of lime or lemon juice in a glass of room temperature or lukewarm water (not boiling water!). Take this remedy as a wake-up drink once in the morning on a empty stomach.


Honey and cinnamon: Dissolve half a teaspoon of cinnamon powder (or ground cinnamon) in a cup of boiling water. Stir the mixture and cover for half an hour. Filter away any big particles and add a teaspoon of honey. Take it in the morning with an empty stomach about half an hour before breakfast.


Honey and Cinnamon Remedy:


This website also strongly recommend honey with cinnamon. Alot of benefits by doing so.



1) HEART DISEASES: Apply honey and cinnamon powder on bread instead of using jam or butter and eat it regularly for breakfast.
2) ARTHRITIS: Apply a paste made of the two ingredients on the affected part of the body and massage slowly.
3) HAIR LOSS: Apply a paste of hot olive oil, a tablespoon of honey, a teaspoon of cinnamon powder before bath, leave it for 15 min and wash.
4) BLADDER INFECTIONS: Mix cinnamon powder and honey in a glass of lukewarm water and drink.
5) TOOTHACHE: Apply a paste of cinnamon powder and honey and on the aching tooth.
6) CHOLESTEROL: Add honey to cinnamon powder mixed in boiled water or green tea and drink.
7) COLDS: Make a glass of lukewarm honey water mixed with cinnamon powder to help boost your immune system during the cold season. It may also help to clear your sinuses.
8) INDIGESTION: Cinnamon powder sprinkled on a spoonful of honey taken before food relieves acidity.
9) LONGEVITY: Regularly take tea made with honey and a little cinnamon powder.
10) PIMPLES: Mix honey with cinnamon powder and apply paste on the pimples before sleeping and wash away the next morning.
11) OBESITY: To reduce weight, daily drink a mixture of a teaspoon of honey with half a teaspoon of cinnamon powder boiled in water with an empty stomach in the morning about half an hour before breakfast. Read: Cinnamon and Honey Recipe. <-- Don't Miss It!


Cinnamon has an insulin boosting property (water soluble compounds called polyphenol type A polymers)which have the ability to boost insulin activity about 20 fold and can benefit people who have high sugar levels (obese people, pre-diabetics and diabetics ). Also, read the honey hibernation diet theory to find out how honey contributes to the metabolizing of undesirable cholesterol and fatty acid, provides a fuelling mechanism for the body, keep blood sugar levels balanced, and let our recovery hormones get on with burning body fat stores.


12) BAD BREATH: Gargle with honey and cinnamon powder mixed in hot water so that breath stays fresh throughout the day.

Ok I am going to eat 3 tablespoon of honey everyday :)

*Note: please do not feed honey to infants less than 1 year old. 

Slowing saying goodbye to my lovely hair

Today, when I bathed, the whole floor is filled with hair! And every wash and pull, there comes a bunch of hair. I don't dare to dry my hair with the towel, just wrap my head for fear that the hair will drop all over my body. What a messy bath!

It is beginning to leave me, as expected.

Should I take into control? I thought of shaving it all bald. But i think it takes alot of courage to really step into a salon and shave it all bald :(

Dear hair,
Although you grow very slowly and there isn't much hair to talk about, but I haven't imagined that you would one day leave me so fast so soon? I hope to see you soon 6 months later? Hope you grow out really nice and soft :)

Probably my last few pic with hair

Then today I saw this wig online at Gmarket selling at $40. Since it is so cheap, decided to buy one for fun. The colour abit striking, but I chose dark brown in colour.

21 Nov 2011 (Monday) - Start of hair fall, shopping again :)

Hair is coming out from every pull. Around 10 strands per pull. Went to cut my hair super short at some neighbourhood hairdresser near Mum's place. Really regretted spending that $10 since it is going bald real soon. Maybe this weekend if the drop is very drastic, I am going to shave it ALL bald. Who want to join my balding team?

Real short hair. Probably my last few photos with the hair :)

Went to my GP to check my back. Wanted a second opinion if it is good enough to not put the dressing anymore. Mum was quite worried because she thinks the wound still looks rather unhealed. But docs and nurses at SGH told me that it is dry enough to leave it open after I discharge. And my GP also said it is dry. So now, the dressing is gone :)

The wound is not a straight line. Looks awful lor :(

My scar with alot of dead skin surrounding it muahaha.

Then at 5p.m., Dad and Mum brought me to buy this tea recommended by Jomei. I have very bad constipated problem and she said only this tea helped her poo poo while she was doing chemo. Already 4 days no poo so I went to buy this tea and try. Hopefully it helps. It is actually a slimming tea but Jomei's doctor told her the ingredients are all natural it is safe.

Slimming tea for poo poo

Drank another glass of PURE beet root juice today. Still taste awful and stomach acidic after that. But managed to poo also. Even urine also will be red colour. I think I am going to mix with orange or apple to make it tastier. It is very good liver detoxing.

Then after that, we headed towards Toa Payoh Courts and I bought 2 DVD Samsung player! One to put at my mum's place so I can watch DVD, another is for MIL. Vera only want to watch her DVD and not allow MIL to watch her shows. So we intend to put this player in the room so at least two rooms have the player and Vera can watch her Barney and Hi-5 in the room.

The player is super cheap! Usual price is $85, now $39. I stepped in less than 10 minutes and I just obtain two of it. Machiam buying vegetables hahaha! Was telling my mum, it is a disposable item now. If it is spoilt, I won't bother to fix it, just get a new one! Even now we buy a printer, we also just buy printer, not the ink anymore hahaha! We are really polluting the environment :(

Somehow, I love to do marketing now. Never step into supermarket and feel so happy looking at food, vegetables and fruits. I am going to learn to cook during this period ( I really don't know how to cook AT ALL) and so I can be more independent. No need to reply on people to cook for me. *bleahz*

Couldn't sleep at night again. Tried to take steroids earlier around 5pm. But still hinder my sleep. Slept at 10pm, woke up at 12am to pee. Then lie in bed until 2am, woke up eat biscuit and eat Anarex (muscle relaxant pill) so that I "force-sleep" myself at 4 am. Woke up at 7am already.

I think I have too many things running through my mind also. Thinking how to make full use of my time. Should I take a course? But I cannot really walk so I cannot go out for courses, can only go for self-study kind. CFA? -- I think I sure fail hahaha! Any suggestions?

Well, this is basically my day. I feel healthy and happy. :)

20 Nov 2011 - Shopping at NEX!

WOW! I am at home! :)

I am so gonna write down the events that happened today :)

I AM BACK TO CIVILISATION!

I don't know is it the steroids, but I couldn't sleep at night. Would fall asleep at 1am then wake up at 3am to pee and then couldn't rest until 5-6 am. Then Vera will wake up at 6 plus then I only rested until 7-ish.

Since I was awake, went for a breakfast with my in-laws and MIL's friend. MIL was very good to buy food for me because I cannot walk also hahaha..

The whole morning, Vera keep sticking to me wherever I go. When I am on the bed, she will come up and lie beside me and chat with me. Ask me to use her bear to tickle her, make her count from 1-20, count her fingers and toes, and just lie beside me. When I am in the living room, she takes out all her toys and ask me play with her. Hubby says Vera really misses me, really stick to me.

I miss her too. And I feel guilty when I have to reject her when she pounced on me to hug me twice today when we were seated on the sofa :( She tried to hug me and I told her the CVC line is there I am afraid she will pull it off so I told her I cannot hug her. She looked disappointed. This is the time when you really feel helpless not able to give her the attention she needs.

Then Cousin dabao Macdonald's breakfast to my house at Tampines after seeing her parents off at the airport. Yummy! I don't care if it is junk food la! I love the taste of the hash brown! I know I have to be healthy. But this indulgence makes me feel alive.

Off we go to my mum's place and then to NEX to do my SIM card and marketing at the NTUC.

I really have nice sisters. Wore their jacket out just to wear it over my spag strap top. I have to use a spag strap top to hold my central venus catheter (CVC). I also have to wear my "corset" which looks very turtle. It is to align my spine and have to be worn for 3 months. So I just wear a jacket over the "corset" too.

My sisters have to hold me throughout the whole journey when I am out. I am not very independent. I can use the walking stick but I think I walk very slow with it. So I rather hold someone's hand and walk at their speed.

I shopped the whole of NTUC at Nex pushing the trolley. The trolley acts as my walking stick, very useful! I think I shopped for ONE HOUR there! Bought some organic oats, cheese, biscuit for me and Vera! Stocking up on the food just in case I feel hungry at my mum's place.

No wonder, my legs feel really tired after that. I still can feel numbness in my toes. Wonder if that will affect the long term damage of nerves? Are my nerves damaged? Will I get to walk independently for rest of my life?

Then, had dinner at 鼎太丰 with my mum, hubby, Vera and sisters. And my dad called me and said I won 4D! hahahha.. I gave him $20 to help me buy $10 ibet on 1410 and $10 ibet on 1985. Just random thought. It is my birthday and I thought since I just got discharged and lost my iphone, maybe I will be lucky in 4D! Sure enough, I really win $200 only. The dinner itself costs $80 already.

See that cheeky face!

Wengfai said that my life is too exciting already! Just last night I lost my iphone and were looking for it right after staying 3 weeks in hospital. Next moment, I win 4D and happily eating dinner and shopping! He said my hubby's heart must be made of steel to go through all these excitement in my life. He also said that I looked more like I just recovered from a minor flu, not going through a cancer :)

After dinner, hubby took Vera home alone. Felt really useless. I should be with them, helping him. Now he is like a single parent doing everything. I want to be useful again, I want to be a mother again taking care of my own kid. And I really don't wish to part with Vera like that in the shopping centre, just a few hugs and kisses and we are separated :(

Nonetheless, I think going back home is an encouragement to a patient's well-being. When I am in hospital I feel sick maybe because of the side effects. But at home, I can skip the anti-nauseating medicine and I do not feel any effects on that! Probably cos the mind is pre-occupied and you feel normal when out of hospital. In the hospital, you just lie there and worry about the side effects, no one to talk to you. I have visitors also but there are also "off-peak" period where you are alone and the environment just makes you feel sick!

I am writing this blog at 5am, couldn't sleep again. Slept at 1am and wake up again to pee at 3am and couldn't get back to sleep :( I shall try to take my steroids a bit earlier tonight see if it helps me to sleep better.

Just read online that dropping hair can be a painful process. I am going to cut short short at any hairdresser opposite my house. I am not so ready to shave it all bald since I can still see my hair! But cut it real short since dropping off can be quite painful I think. I don't know is it to the scalp or the emotional part of seeing patches of empty spaces.

I also don't have intention to get a wig now. Because firstly, a wig looks rather fake and I think it is quite hot to wear it in Singapore right? (As if a hat is any better!). At this point now, I think I can foresee myself wearing a hat.

I do not care about other's people view, I know I am just different!

First day home (19 Nov 2011) - Letter to hubby

Last night (19 Nov 2011) was my first day home after 3 whole weeks in hospital.

So much has happened within the last three weeks. While lying on bed, I couldn't believe I had been through so much?

An operation, an abortion, found out cancer and then go for chemotherapy. -- Met my entire social circle hahaha~

I am so glad I have a very supportive hubby. Although he doesn't really like to say what he feels. But the things he do for me I know he really love me and care for me. He will come to hospital and accompany me for the whole day. Take care of our little princess Vera. And tells me he wants me to recover. Just concentrate on recovering.

While I was lying on MY OWN bed (I miss my Aloe Vera Pillow), I chatted with hubby from 10pm until 1am. Seems so long since we had a good chat while lying on bed. Really miss the times together. Really want to cherish the time together. Life is too short too unpredictable.

Hubby scolded me for not sleeping and keep talking to him hahaha. And he was lamenting that I am blocking his wind and giving some weird smell while sleeping beside him! But I know he misses me too :) (ok i am not too sure. I just assume lolz).

For the next few months to come, I don't know how many times we can be chatting together. Because I will be recuperating at 娘家. There won't be too much opportunities to be together and talk about our days. I won't be there to help out to take care of Vera too.

I feel so burden to you, Darling. Please forgive me. All that I can do now is to really love myself, love you and love life more. I want to live. I want to be with you. I want to grow old with you and take care of you, like how you are doing so to me. I do not want to miss any times together anymore. Just want to be happy with you :)

I hope this incident will really make us cherish each other more. Make us feel that life is so unpredictable that any incident can bring us apart so easily, so suddenly. As spouse, we have to be as friends, as confidante and strive to be life-long partner.

I love you. And I will want to be your wife even in the next three lives to come  :)

19th Nov 2011 (Sat) -- Discharge Day! - Lost iphone day!

I am super HAPPY! 

Today is the day back to Civilisation! 

I took half an hour to bathe clean clean, comb my hair (which is surprisingly still around), wear my own pajamas, and at 11.45a.m. nobody is here yet to pick me up!

Well, I pushed the discharge time to 5p.m. so that hubby and mum has more time to pack things and do discharging admin matters. 

But hubby has to learn how to do dressing for me from the nurses. (wonder if he can take the stress with his fat fingers). But anyway, dressing could be done at the National Cancer Centre. I think I will just go down because it is quite dangerous if dressing is not done properly. Cannot have any infections.

And I have to jab myself for the next four days at my tummy to push up my white blood cells.

Then after discharged, met Wengfai and Liqi to discuss about my discharges. And I went to the handicapped toilet in the midst of it. And I MISPLACED my iphone in it! I placed it on the toilet paper roll top and I forgot to take. I think it is a retribution. I was too busy using the walking stick which I "took" from the hospital. Hahaha.. And then I forgot to check for my iphone.

I left the toilet for 2 minutes only and I asked Liqi to help me go find it and it was gone at 630pm lor! We downloaded the "find my iphone" app to track and the person never off the phone and was in SGH all the while. We suspect it was in the construction site at Hospital Avenue but couldn't go in to find.

So we went to the nearest police station at Canotonment Neighbourhood Police Post to report the lost of iphone. The police there quite friendly. Pushed me in the wheelchair (so old right?) into the police station since they saw that I couldn't walk too conveniently and allowed us to both go in although I don't have IC with me. (I explained that I just got discharged so I do not have any IC with me).

Then they actually resource out two policemen and one policecar to help us find the iphone in the construction site. Everything came to no avail at 830pm.

I am so guilty. Felt so useless.

First day of discharge I have to trouble my hubby and two friends to help me find the iphone to NO AVAIL. In the end, we had dinner and went back home hahahhaa!

Thanks WengFai and Liqi :) Shall give u guys a good treat when I AM BETTER!

SASHIMI here I come!

17-18th Nov 2011 (Thurs & Fri): 19-20th day in Hospital (SGH) - 1st Chemo (6th medicine) - Day 2&3

Side effects: Sleepy, nauseating. Keep sleeping in the afternoon.  Vomited at 8pm. Felt better after vomit. And continue to eat my mum's porridge thereafter.


Doctor says 2 weeks after chemo is the peak period for side effects. Hair will start to drop too. I seriously hate these side effects. I have no strength for anything else, just keep sleeping. And I see the hospital food, I feel like puking out :(


I maybe be able to discharge tomorrow! (19 Nov, Sat). Depends on my blood count. If it is good then I am good to go home. And I told hubby I feel like going for the movie that everybody is raving about it now -- 那些年我们追过的女孩。 Don't know if that is the correct title but everyone is saying how nice it is! Don't know if hubby is adventurous enough to bring me out :)


But I will be recuperating at my mum's place after I discharge. Might wanna organise mahjong with those friends that don't need to work in the afternoon hahaha! Anybody?


I had a big group of KCPSS friends came to visit me. Felt so touched that the 10 over of them actually remember me :) And to be able to chat about the past makes me feel ALIVE! We should really meet more often. Have more fun and laughter  together :)