- a spinal operation - 30 Oct
- re-learn walking - 1 Nov
- an abortion - 7 Nov
- extraction of bone marrow (tomorrow) - 8 Nov
- start of chemotherapy (day after tomorrow) - 9 Nov
I wonder how my body is going to take all the above physical torture in just a short span of 10 days. Can I survive this? Will I have a super weak body in future? Will I continue to live in pain for the rest of my life? Will I be a burden to hubby and my parents? All these questions just haunt me non stop.
I also just realised how small my legs has become. It has shrunk in size to around 60% of my usual size. The muscles has shrunk because I haven't been using them but everytime I walk I feel weakness and I think there are no physiotherapists here to help me walk. At least in TTSH, the physios will come and see me daily and encourage me to walk. But I think here in SGH maybe there is no Neurological team so physiotherapies are not in their discipline. I think i need to start exercising myself.
I miss my hubby too. I want to sleep beside him and hug him, although he says he feels very cooling when i am not beside him because I always block the fan hahahaha.. But I know he misses me too and he is really very stressed up. I love u.
I just looked through my blogposts. I cannot imagine I have gone through so much! How did I survived? I used to be so timid, someone with no perseverance and someone who do not know how to cherish and love.
Now, I created this blog so that I can put down my feelings for those I feel, and for those I love and cherish. I begin to cherish people around, begin to love people around me. As I am writing this I am crying, not because I feel weak but I felt so relieved. Maybe there is always so much commotion in the day time, it is when I start penning down my feelings and calm down that actually I have so much to say in my heart.
And most of the posts I write with tears and thereafter I will feel relief and continue to face the challenges ahead of me.
I just looked through my blogposts. I cannot imagine I have gone through so much! How did I survived? I used to be so timid, someone with no perseverance and someone who do not know how to cherish and love.
Now, I created this blog so that I can put down my feelings for those I feel, and for those I love and cherish. I begin to cherish people around, begin to love people around me. As I am writing this I am crying, not because I feel weak but I felt so relieved. Maybe there is always so much commotion in the day time, it is when I start penning down my feelings and calm down that actually I have so much to say in my heart.
And most of the posts I write with tears and thereafter I will feel relief and continue to face the challenges ahead of me.
hi Min
ReplyDeleteI chanced upon Dylan's FB comments and your blog today.
You may not remember me but we have met briefly in Union Square through Dylan. I was still congratulating him how he found such a sweet and lovely girlfriend (then).
It was very heart wrenching to read your blog, to know what is happening to you and what you are going through right now. it left me teary-eyed.
You are a brave strong girl, a cheery friend (you are always putting on a sweet smile whenever i see u in Union despite the darkness), a wonderful mom (without doubt) and a lovely wife to your hubby (im sure).
I really hope you can pull through this with your family. Wishing you a speedy recovery.
Take Care
Shirlyn Chin
92333 800
Hi Shirlyn,
ReplyDeleteThanks for your encouragement :)
FIGHTING!