Cancer changes your life, often for the better. You learn what’s important, you learn to prioritize, and you learn not to waste your time. You tell people you love them. My friend Gilda Radner (who died of ovarian cancer in 1989 at age 42) used to say, ‘If it wasn’t for the downside, having cancer would be the best thing and everyone would want it.’ That’s true. If it wasn’t for the downside. ~Joel Siegel

Monday, November 7, 2011

7th Nov 2011 (Mon): 10th day in Hospital (SGH) - Byebye Baby

At 9 am, I am still waiting for the fetus to be out. The termination began at 730pm last night. Did not ask for any painkiller because I slept throughout the pain. Feels like menses cramp but tolerable so I just sleep.

Actually, my hubby supposed to be with me overnight to accompany me. But unfortunately, my mother-in-law injured her leg. So i asked hubby to stay at home to take care of Vera since MIL has problems walking. Why must all bad things happen all at the SAME time? 一波未平,一波又起。 祸不单行。I think we really need to go and pray for some good luck!

Last night me and cousin also had some heart-to-heart talk. She said she cannot imagine life without this evil cousin me. And I also think she is a big part in my life. We began being so emotional talking about importance of each other in our heart that she said she was crying in the restaurant :) Ya I really miss those times where go for salsa and dance till Union Square close at 2 am, I miss those days where we just gossip about random people or just rant about minute events in our lives. I know sometimes I am very impatient towards her whining and complaints. She still forgive me and our relationship is still so strong as if we are real sisters. And yes, she is planning to get married next year, I will definitely be her bridesmaid! Cousin, go and lead a very very happy life! Let's go for our shopping trip after this is over!

Decided to take the number of pills I need to take first thing in the morning.. The taste of steroids SUCKS!


11 pills and 1 liquid
Baby came out at 12pm, 7 Nov 2011 when I went to pee. I am sorry baby I don't dare to see you for the last time. I just let the nurse do all the packing and bring it to the mortuary. I am so terrified, so guilty for depriving u to live. But please forgive me for I do not want to give u any disadvantage in terms of health or mental being. Please bless us in the other world.

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